Porch, Jdog, Davey, & Barker: Night 1 of many.
Gold Dust (Flux Pavilion Remix) by DJ Fresh; Sick ass song! So mind grinding and simply the shit. This song was introduced to me by the man, the beast, the standup comic, the ledged, the one and only MOTHER FUCKING DAVEY HENDERSON! I first met Davey via Andrew Barker. Ima start it off by when I first met handy, dandy, a wee bit randy, Andy! Around 2 ½ years ago; when I use to chill with his little bro Trevor. I went to Trevor’s house and Big Bad Barker was out for a fag and it was just a hello what’s good home Nigga?! But from what I heard at that point of my awesome life that Barker was a top notch drinker of the surrounding area of the 847. And me being me with awesomeness being stirred in the pot I knew I had to drink with him. I wanna say he did the adding on Facebook but he is cooler than me so I probably added him. But I remember he had some subs to sell so I chatted him on Facebook about it.
Ever since the beginning of my junior year of high school; Kevin, Mike, and I always wanted to go to Ireland for spring break in our senior year of high school. We have been planning and saving our money for the best spring break of our high school years. A year later we had all the planning done and our money saved. It was official; we were going to Ireland for spring break to have the best week possible. If only we knew what we were in for.
Oh the good ole life has everything apart of it, kind of like a Mexican burrito. It can be perfect while you can enjoy every bite and taste or you would rather it without some of the ingredients that makes it what it is. But it’s made in the way it was put together. Some bites might not taste the way you like but the next one might make you want to come back for more. Everything is the same but has it different ways, some for good and some for bad. You never know until the end; shit goes downhill when you swallow those flaming hot peppers and the tears come out even though you don’t want them too. It will make you never to want to taste the burn again or even go near it, so what good is out of it? Like I said the outcome; it will make you stronger for the next bite, slowly but surely giving you strength to go through peppers like dirty laundry. Just because it doesn’t go your way once doesn’t mean you should drop it like a sluts pants. You want it, you work it. Everything takes time and work for anything to grow. Relationships, friendships, or anything you can imagine.
Occurred March 2011
Written March 2011
It was Friday and I was at Flips figuring out our game plan for the weekend, otherwise than the Rugby social. We were playing Black Ops and nothing was on the agenda. After merkin’ a bunch of little kids and talking shit we decided to cruise around and find something to do. We get bored from doing nothing so we head to Elgin. On our way we stopped at Moretti’s to see if anything’s going down for the night and to drop off my sister’s car keys. As we drove in I seen my buddy Bryce in his car and I pulled up next to him.
Whoa I sure am sweaty! I just got into the gay-rage from my late night jog around Elgin…for a black n mild. Yesterday was a random day. (March 29th) This girl Christal I have known for about 3 ½ years wanted to chill. I first met Christal Halloween 2007 at her high school. A few friends and I went to her school to fuck around and scare a few people. I had this bad ass mask and I walked in all creepily. I see a bunch of girls in their own little circle. I still talk to two of them, Christal and Zoe. As I creep up growling they stop and look at me. Slowly make my way over and loudly start barking at them! They get scarred and run away or something. We continue walking around and we walk into again. We chat and have fun. We say that we are 2nd quarter transfers and my Cousin was Lisa W. I don’t know if they believed us or not but they know now. I got their numbers and since then I met up with Christal randomly and we have our share of Skype dates! I seen Zoe one other time at her school again but I had a wrestling match and she had something with cheerleading so we didn’t get to chat too much. I was meant to meet up with Zoe at unofficial but it was a fail. Christal text me wanting to chill but I was broke and didn’t have a car so I couldn’t really make it out there; which sucks because I’m stuck in the house on Facebook and writing. But luckily she came through on the clutch!
Occurred Aug. 2010
Written March 2011
The day started off with Presto, Nick, Ginger Ballz Joe, Barker, and some other people that I don’t remember. We bum around at Presto’s and then head to Woodfield Mall. We fuck around for a little and they buy some clothes. We get back to Presto’s and start playing with some fireworks! Fireworks are always fun not matter what size they are. Obviously the bigger the better but fireworks are kind of like boobs. Everybody loves boobs! They might be mosquito bites or little speed bumps but they still are boobs. Men are like dogs. A bone is a bone no matter on the size; similar to fireworks and boobs. We will always play with them and accept them the way they are. But everything has a down side; bones can hurt your teeth, boobs may have pepperoni nipples, and fireworks can back fire into your brand new t-shirt. While nick was fucking around with fireworks it backfired on him and put a nice burn hole in the t-shirt that he owned for about an hour. Sick life right?
Yoyo its Porch chillin’ in the gay-rage (garage) cheifin’ up on a chillum. What I am going to do right now is type whatever is on my mind and how I feel. Here we go! Right now I got iTunes shuffle going and I’m listening to heavy dubstep hour mix may by skrillz hahahaha idk I downloaded it when I first started listening to dubstep. This song makes me want to type fast. Haha I’m a fast typing guy! I love jdog <3 she’s my fav!!! WE DON’T GIVE A FUCK! Haha I’m decently high after this chillum. Ayo waddup flip. Dubstep is sick. Hmm cig or another chillum? Survey says chillum. It’s kind of cold in here but I got the heater with a blanket over it. New song. Let’s Get High Lil Wayne. This is a good high song. Meow. “Sure your high and you don’t even know yet” this song makes me type slower. It’s like a rhythm I guess. I mean, why not right? So I might be able to get another extra job on Saturday. Ima be getting $40 for 4 hours. While being on TV. Women lie men lie. Fuck the laptop has 12% I should get the charger soon. Let’s get drunk. I want to party with so many people! Idc if I don’t know you or not! Party party! Waddup ho? My fingers are cold but my legs are hot. I’m icy heat ;) Haha wait loll icy hot* whoops. Unstoppable drake. Ugh brb I gotta go get the laptop charger.
Occurred Nov. 2009
Written Mar. 2011
Having sex is always a great day. But when you get to have sex with one of the sexiest girls you know, it becomes unbelievable! Sex is on everybody’s mind and it is a way of life. For me sex was just something to dream about because before all of this I only had sex with one girl which was an ex-girlfriend of mine. I never give up on women or don’t bother giving the most gorgeous, sexiest, and most perfect women a try because they are never out of you league until you try. Sometimes seems pointless because 9 time out of 10 you will fail but there is always that 1 time out of 10 that will make everything worth it and unforgettable.
Occurred Dec. 2008
Written April 2009
I wanted to put this in the book even though it’s not funny or a great story to tell but I learned a lot through this experience and I hope you will too. Back when I was in high school I played rugby for the Arlington Stallions and I met my soon to be best friend. We called him Schuh and we fucked shit up on the rugby field and at every party we found. We went from playing rugby together to applying to colleges together so we can be roommates with a “Keggerator” in our room. But before anything that could of happened to us, something life changing hit us on the blind side. We never saw it coming.
Occurred March 2011
Written March 2011
I started my Friday morning at 8am without sleep but with some beers and a shot or two of Jameson and Ketel One Vodka. I was never so pumped up for a weekend to come. Unofficial is one of the biggest drinking weekends in the nation for all colleges. It’s an all day drinking fiesta starting at 6am and its free-for-all from there on. I get picked up at 9 am from the lads; Sampson, Hurley, and Flip. Were ready for our 3 hour trip down to Champaign! Blunts, beers, and bitches. This weekend will be fucking epic!