Yoyo its Porch chillin’ in the gay-rage (garage) cheifin’ up on a chillum. What I am going to do right now is type whatever is on my mind and how I feel. Here we go! Right now I got iTunes shuffle going and I’m listening to heavy dubstep hour mix may by skrillz hahahaha idk I downloaded it when I first started listening to dubstep. This song makes me want to type fast. Haha I’m a fast typing guy! I love jdog <3 she’s my fav!!! WE DON’T GIVE A FUCK! Haha I’m decently high after this chillum. Ayo waddup flip. Dubstep is sick. Hmm cig or another chillum? Survey says chillum. It’s kind of cold in here but I got the heater with a blanket over it. New song. Let’s Get High Lil Wayne. This is a good high song. Meow. “Sure your high and you don’t even know yet” this song makes me type slower. It’s like a rhythm I guess. I mean, why not right? So I might be able to get another extra job on Saturday. Ima be getting $40 for 4 hours. While being on TV. Women lie men lie. Fuck the laptop has 12% I should get the charger soon. Let’s get drunk. I want to party with so many people! Idc if I don’t know you or not! Party party! Waddup ho? My fingers are cold but my legs are hot. I’m icy heat ;) Haha wait loll icy hot* whoops. Unstoppable drake. Ugh brb I gotta go get the laptop charger.
Occurred Nov. 2009
Written Mar. 2011
Having sex is always a great day. But when you get to have sex with one of the sexiest girls you know, it becomes unbelievable! Sex is on everybody’s mind and it is a way of life. For me sex was just something to dream about because before all of this I only had sex with one girl which was an ex-girlfriend of mine. I never give up on women or don’t bother giving the most gorgeous, sexiest, and most perfect women a try because they are never out of you league until you try. Sometimes seems pointless because 9 time out of 10 you will fail but there is always that 1 time out of 10 that will make everything worth it and unforgettable.
Occurred Dec. 2008
Written April 2009
I wanted to put this in the book even though it’s not funny or a great story to tell but I learned a lot through this experience and I hope you will too. Back when I was in high school I played rugby for the Arlington Stallions and I met my soon to be best friend. We called him Schuh and we fucked shit up on the rugby field and at every party we found. We went from playing rugby together to applying to colleges together so we can be roommates with a “Keggerator” in our room. But before anything that could of happened to us, something life changing hit us on the blind side. We never saw it coming.
Occurred March 2011
Written March 2011
I started my Friday morning at 8am without sleep but with some beers and a shot or two of Jameson and Ketel One Vodka. I was never so pumped up for a weekend to come. Unofficial is one of the biggest drinking weekends in the nation for all colleges. It’s an all day drinking fiesta starting at 6am and its free-for-all from there on. I get picked up at 9 am from the lads; Sampson, Hurley, and Flip. Were ready for our 3 hour trip down to Champaign! Blunts, beers, and bitches. This weekend will be fucking epic!
Occurred Dec. 2010
Written Jan. 2011
Just ant other Friday would begin; it would be at my gas ass work DHL. Working at DHL wasn’t the worst job but just being there is hell. As I’m working my cousin Tommy calls me. (Tommy is also from Ireland)
Tommy: “what’s the craic man?!”
Porch: “Bummin’ at work man, what you at?”
Tommy: “not a bit a mhac. Aoi come here, you coming out to Spikers for my surprise birthday party? ”
Porch: “not much of a surprise party now is it? Yeah sound man I’ll head over after work. Sure I will be there around 11 30pm. NOT A BOTHER BOIIIII!”
Tommy: “Sound man give us a buzz when you’re head here”
Porch: “Sound so. Good luck man.”
Occurred Aug. 2009
Written Oct. 2010
Captain Morgan Spiced Rum. Everybody has drank it and have had their own ways of outcome when they tend to take a shot or two too many. Some better than other but some terrible worse than everyone; that would fall more in lines with myself. Beer I can drink until the world ends but once I hit the hard liquor it rushes to my head and I go insane with no brain. How so? Many ways on which I will never understand…