Guided Relaxation Dub (Borgore) Dude I’m fucked up with pricks in my dicks. Fuck but Yo I had an interesting fucking ass day. Like it was intense, weird, fucked me over, and landed me in where I should be. I don’t know how I do it but what I do is fucking awesome! How? I don’t know! BEER!!!!! Haha okay so it is Saturday 14th (2011 11:43pm) but yesterday I was meant to meet up with Ho. A couple days prior I made sure to get fucked up with Ho. I haven’t chilled with him in a while so FUCK IT LETS GO INSANE GOT NO BRAIN! Haha I was just listening to this song. Yes, I’m blown. Even to this second; I am typing crunk as FUCK!
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Porch, Jdog, Davey, & Barker: Night 1 of many. Gold Dust (Flux Pavilion Remix) by DJ Fresh; Sick ass song! So mind grinding and simply the shit. This song was introduced to me by the man, the beast, the standup comic, the ledged, the one and only MOTHER FUCKING DAVEY HENDERSON! I first met Davey via Andrew Barker. Ima start it off by when I first met handy, dandy, a wee bit randy, Andy! Around 2 ½ years ago; when I use to chill with his little bro Trevor. I went to Trevor’s house and Big Bad Barker was out for a fag and it was just a hello what’s good home Nigga?! But from what I heard at that point of my awesome life that Barker was a top notch drinker of the surrounding area of the 847. And me being me with awesomeness being stirred in the pot I knew I had to drink with him. I wanna say he did the adding on Facebook but he is cooler than me so I probably added him. But I remember he had some subs to sell so I chatted him on Facebook about it. Ever since the beginning of my junior year of high school; Kevin, Mike, and I always wanted to go to Ireland for spring break in our senior year of high school. We have been planning and saving our money for the best spring break of our high school years. A year later we had all the planning done and our money saved. It was official; we were going to Ireland for spring break to have the best week possible. If only we knew what we were in for.
Occurred March 2011
Written March 2011 It was Friday and I was at Flips figuring out our game plan for the weekend, otherwise than the Rugby social. We were playing Black Ops and nothing was on the agenda. After merkin’ a bunch of little kids and talking shit we decided to cruise around and find something to do. We get bored from doing nothing so we head to Elgin. On our way we stopped at Moretti’s to see if anything’s going down for the night and to drop off my sister’s car keys. As we drove in I seen my buddy Bryce in his car and I pulled up next to him. Occurred Aug. 2010
Written March 2011 The day started off with Presto, Nick, Ginger Ballz Joe, Barker, and some other people that I don’t remember. We bum around at Presto’s and then head to Woodfield Mall. We fuck around for a little and they buy some clothes. We get back to Presto’s and start playing with some fireworks! Fireworks are always fun not matter what size they are. Obviously the bigger the better but fireworks are kind of like boobs. Everybody loves boobs! They might be mosquito bites or little speed bumps but they still are boobs. Men are like dogs. A bone is a bone no matter on the size; similar to fireworks and boobs. We will always play with them and accept them the way they are. But everything has a down side; bones can hurt your teeth, boobs may have pepperoni nipples, and fireworks can back fire into your brand new t-shirt. While nick was fucking around with fireworks it backfired on him and put a nice burn hole in the t-shirt that he owned for about an hour. Sick life right? Occurred March 2011
Written March 2011 I started my Friday morning at 8am without sleep but with some beers and a shot or two of Jameson and Ketel One Vodka. I was never so pumped up for a weekend to come. Unofficial is one of the biggest drinking weekends in the nation for all colleges. It’s an all day drinking fiesta starting at 6am and its free-for-all from there on. I get picked up at 9 am from the lads; Sampson, Hurley, and Flip. Were ready for our 3 hour trip down to Champaign! Blunts, beers, and bitches. This weekend will be fucking epic! Occurred Dec. 2010
Written Jan. 2011 Just ant other Friday would begin; it would be at my gas ass work DHL. Working at DHL wasn’t the worst job but just being there is hell. As I’m working my cousin Tommy calls me. (Tommy is also from Ireland) Tommy: “what’s the craic man?!” Porch: “Bummin’ at work man, what you at?” Tommy: “not a bit a mhac. Aoi come here, you coming out to Spikers for my surprise birthday party? ” Porch: “not much of a surprise party now is it? Yeah sound man I’ll head over after work. Sure I will be there around 11 30pm. NOT A BOTHER BOIIIII!” Tommy: “Sound man give us a buzz when you’re head here” Porch: “Sound so. Good luck man.” |
Porch McDonaghMy weekends are devoted to drinking and socializing; put the two together and you are staying wasted. I’m all about having a good time and including the people around me. I walk into parties and make sure I’m not forgotten. Mack on some bitches, pound some beers, and create new stories to tell the world. My name is Porch and this is my life. Archives
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